Why Stuff Sucks
So much for this “blogging” thing.
Everyone has already said everything, really though, the best I could do would be to express my opinion about something, but, having spent much more time than one really should having read everyone else’s blog and news site and rant site and opinion piece and technical journal and informational site and blog blog and news blog and blog aggregator and news aggregator and news blog aggregator and blog aggregator news and opinion piece blog opinion piece and technical journal opinion piece blog aggregator I am pretty damn fucking sure that whatever the fuck my tiny little head has to say, has already been said. One thousand, no ten thousand, no, more like one MILLION times before by someone else.
Here is what I find interesting.
People still care.
No matter how many times someone says “you know what really bugs me, slow drivers in the fast lane” or “windows sucks, linux rules” or “why google is evil” or “americans are fat and lazy” or “mean people suck”, no matter, how many BILLIONS of time these same ideas are repeated, there is still someone out there that says “huh, never thought about that” and diggs or reddits or comments on the statement.
Ok, theories. I like those. Sort of. Ok, not really, but, it’s a good starting point.
First theory -- the world smokes too much pot. This is almost too obvious to need to prove, but, let’s spend a minute or so there. I see this as an extremely viable theory, as, well, I live in San Francisco. The city practically smells like a college dorm room on saturday morning, seriously. I have known lots of people that have claimed “I xxxx better on weed, I don’t forget things”. try asking them what they did last night. There is some recall, but, seriously, they do NOT remember everything, in fact, I know EXACTLY what they forgot -- watching Jeff Foxworthy’s “you might be a redneck if” for the 10000th time. So, given that I have had direct experience with lifelong potsmokers that are convinced it does not affect them, and yet have seen them specifically forget things, this theory absolutely holds water. There does exist individuals who get high on a regular basis, which hold down regular and very often, very high-paying and challenging jobs, whose lives are not significantly impacted for the worse by their THC consumption (oh, right, except for this forgetting some things part). Now, surely, San Francisco and the “college experience” are not representative of the population as a whole. Next theory.
Second theory -- the world doesn’t sleep enough. This ones boring. I don’t want to go into, let’s just say our culture isn’t very good at teaching us how to take care of ourselves. There are lots of people out there who really could use more sleep. Try driving to work in rush hour some time and tell me this is not true.
Third theory -- alien abduction. I had to throw this in, surely there is someone right now desperately scouring the search engines for “alien abduction”, maybe I will get a few more hits. But seriously, check this out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kardashev_scale Based on that idea, either we are only a few billion years into the last cosmic reset, or we are constantly being visited by aliens. Ok, fine, maybe there is an in between, but that’s not the stuff of blogs. Maybe they are among us. Maybe they are invading our minds and then keeping our basic skills and wiping the rest of our memories and then browsing the internet constantly typing “LOL” and “ROTFL” into the comment fields of bad blogs talking about how men would die of starvation if they could lick their own balls.
Fourth theory -- the internet needs to be censored. What? What?!? Did you really say that? Ok, ok, hold on here, give me a second to explain myself. Let’s ignore for a minute that there are really chronic potsmokers that keep finding the same jokes funny, sleep deprived people living each day as their first, and newly immigrated aliens from other planets living among us, there is another very simple and somewhat obvious reason why “everything old is new again”. Kids. 2006 estimates were 245 births per minute. Current estimates are that approximately 1.1 billion people have access to “the net” (http://business.guardian.co.uk/story/0,,2102517,00.html) Ok, 6.6b worldwide population, 1.1b have access, so 1/6th of the world has access to the internet, 245/6 is 40 something, so, every second, we have the potential (based on gross assumptions that people have been born at this rate for long enough to load the pipeline of internet-age users, etc., even though we know this is not the case) of having 40 more LOL’s posted to the blog entry about the hovering buttered-toast-cat. Do you still think we don’t need censorship? When you went to school, did they put all the 6 year olds in with the 18 year olds and make them write 100 cursive A’s? Then follow that up with a discussion of quantum states? Well, maybe at your school, but, not mine, and definitely not at most schools. Yes, this is a parenting issue, but, hey, I am American, and writing this from the perspective of an American who was seen the high-quality parenting we are capable of here. The internet may not need to be censored in the traditional “big brother is watching you type and blocking your keystrokes” “censored”, but at the very least, rated. You still on your chair? No, I am not the MPAA or RIAA or GOP or MSFT, but, I am one fucking pissed off internet user tired of god damn 12 year olds commenting on the same god damn bullshit acting like it’s the fucking prophecy and pissing off the 40 year old stoners and dysfunctionals getting into flame wars of the retarded. Seriously. Fuck. Bullshit. IQ tests for all, then you get your appropriate internet access.
So there you have it, my flash of brilliance for the day. Flame me, please, I could use more original content to post here, a I clearly don’t have the ability to create much myself.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Blogging. Web 9326718329.0
